My Lost Va Va Voom, and Other Stories

As a child I was prone to verbal mishaps, mostly my mistakes were gently corrected, laughed at, or ignored. Denim became deminimum and aluminium became aluminiminimummmn. I avoided Birmingham and would often find myself steering the conversation towards Manchester. Like many children I had a problem with the Grand Prix, and with that well known car manufacturing firm...

It was a special occasion, friends and relatives were coming for Sunday tea; Mum had opened a fresh can of spam and had baked a Victoria sponge. She'd also done a salad and some other boring stuff featuring pineapple chunks, and half a grapefruit. As we sat around the dining table my Aunt began to tell us about her brand new car, she marvelled over its luxurious leather interior, and its faux wooden dashboard. I could see it through the window parked on our driveway - new, red and very shiny. I was most impressed. I sighed before asking loudly and enthusiastically, 'Dad, when are you going to get a big vulva like Auntie Pam's?'
Such a shame that my Uncle had just popped a pickled onion into his mouth, but at least his choking provided a welcome distraction.

Apologies! I have been poking around in the Scarlet Blue archives searching for my lost Va Va Voom! The above tale was originally from 2010.

Minimal Output

 I fear that I have become a minimalist. I am sparse with words; I am plain in my tastes; I like a simple existence. But I also like the occasional misplaced semi-colon to liven up my prose. 

On that note I now bring you a tiny minimal tale from my photo album featuring Mike, Heather, and Julia. I urge you to form your own narrative as I am far too lazy and minimal to do it for you.

I mean how pissed did they get to feel like they needed to apologise in a classified ad???? I will leave that with you.

Next Week: Surrealism via the medium of crayons.

It's Been Long Enough....

....since my last post for me to slap up something fresh and exciting. And, I have even redecorated for the occasion. I'd been wondering why I was so put off from using this Blogger blog and I think it was the theme; the colours; the vastness of it. I have now corrected all that bothers me about it.

So what have I been doing? Not a lot. Cleaning; reading; sorting through old family photographs; winning virtual garden competitions; finding ways to incorporate the semi-colon into my life, that sort of thing. And I have realised that I spend too much of my life planning and not doing, and I actually function better when I simply fling myself into something with no pre-planned direction. So here I am with a directionless post, but in the spirit of the 4fotos meme, invented by Mr Devine, I will share some of the most recent photos in my library, just to give you something to look at.

Firstly, a collage....

A garden pic....

Another collage...

And finally, my Auntie J. I don't think I asked enough questions about my Auntie J when I was child, and her image has left me pondering. She was a relative by marriage, and a much loved family member...I was sorting through the old photographs to see if I could use them for collage, so perhaps I was looking at these familiar pictures through a different lens. She was definitely a character!

Now, when I hit publish will my pictures go all blurry? Hope not.